Writing has always been one of my biggest tell-tale signs that either I had changed, or that maybe I needed to change in some way. For unknown reasons, I rarely threw away my old, raggedy notebooks that were filled to capacity. Why hadn’t I gotten rid of them, I wondered? Was it that someday I’d find them, and want to re-read them for entertainment purposes? Some of those notebooks were within a year old, while others were closer to 5 or 6 years old.
On occasion, I would lie across my bed reading with my blanket on my lap and a soft pillow propped below my back for hours reminiscing. Wow, I’ve changed a lot, I’d say to myself. Then, there were the occasional lines that made me cringe from embarrassment at the notion of someone catching a glimpse of my thoughts during certain periods of time. I will admit, many of those pages were shredded immediately, never to be re-read again. Those pages I felt I could no longer relate to, or as though no longer reflected the woman I had become. Other pages consisted of an overload of grammatical errors that I was ashamed to have ever written, with respect to my educational background.
A lesson that I had picked up during my reflection period, were flaws that I could not have recognized otherwise. Sideways patterns of behavior, grammatical errors, point of views, and off-kilter ways of thinking. At the time, writing was my therapy. My safe space, free from judgement from others. It was in that space where I unveiled filters of my own truth, and discovered clarity. It was also in those moments where self-awareness took effect and I learned how to transform and become more open-minded. I’ve since seized the opportunity to grow and further connect to myself through my love, and gift to write.
It is one thing to recognize parts of ourselves that don’t yet align with the goals that we have set for our lives, and then there is another to responsibly respond to new found realizations using self-awareness.
I encourage you to take responsibility for your self-awareness by doing the work, being courageous, and maintaining the visual of who you ultimately hope to become.
Determine a method that will help you connect to your truthful flaws, then begin working through them starting today.
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